epilogue

weekend

Here’s a couple highlights of this weekend. Derek and I have been living the summer up so far, participating in yesterday’s SLC Trans March and supporting B. Manning with our local RSU (he made the awesome shirts!), seeing Derek’s cousin Junior perform at the Pride Festival, cheering on my mom as she and the Bonneville Bone Crushers took on the Portneuf Valley Bruisers (pictures to come), AND seeing Taxi Driver on 35MM in the theater. And that was all in one day!

We were pretty much exhausted by the time we got home from the movie, but there were still things to get ready for today’s Pride Parade. Derek spray painted my wings and flowers gold, I clumsily did some hot gluing, and woke up the next morning an hour and a half past my alarm. There was a lot of scrambling.

This was my second year skating in the Pride Parade and I still absolutely love it! Our theme was fairies, so as Drew Fairywhore I definitely had to represent. There must have been over 50 of us derby girls skating together from leagues all over Utah. It’s so much fun to see all the happy faces smiling back at you as you cheer and wave hello!

My mom, the wicked cool lady she is, put together an awesome fairymom costume from an American Apparel leotard and a bunch of flower appliques. So silly and funny!

I have to say, though, the best part of the parade was being towed back to the car on Derek’s bike! I could definitely use that pretty much every day of my life. After that, he and I grabbed some lunch at Tony Caputo’s, sharing a delicious sandwich and salad. I can’t wait to share this summer with him. We’ve had so much fun already, I know it’s just going to get better! It’s awesome being in love.

memorial

I was talking about cats with some of the girls at practice the other day, and one of them said that being with a cat is like your worst relationship, personified. You know, like how cats never seem to want your love until you’re busy and you need to get that research paper done before midnight, seriously though get off the keyboard. They’re self-centered and use your bed. They smell like fish.

Last year, I adopted a cat with this guy I was dating. We named him Binx, and he was a sweet little asshole who blended into the shadows, drank water with his paws, stole the straw out of countless soda cups, and loved us as much as we loved him. He started peeing on everything once I started bringing different guys around, because he missed his dad. By then, he and I were barely on speaking terms as I silently and begrudgingly did the schoolwork for him to graduate. I was at that point solely responsible for both of them, the cat and the cat dad.

It was around this time last year that I watched Binx’s belly swell with fluid, that we mistook it for weight gain and put him on a diet. Then, when he stopped using the bathroom, I took him to the vet and was told that my baby cat had a fatal infection in his body. They drew some of the fluid and tested it that night. In the morning, I was told that he had days to live. Painful days.

And I did all of this alone, because the guy I had been dating kept taking advantage of me, over and over again, and stopped talking to me at all once he had walked at graduation. It was only two weeks after that that my mom and I held Binx’s paw as he died on the clinic table.

I miss him every day, and wish he could have lasted so much longer than the terrible relationship he came into. Even with all the asshole cat shit Binx did, and all the broken glass he caused, I’d still rather Binx be alive, and his cat dad be filled with cancerous fluid.

two days

Derek’s been gone for two days, he’s back for a couple of hours tomorrow, and then I take him to the airport Wednesday morning. This is definitely weird. I hardly know what to do with myself! I’m just glad to see him after work tonight. That’s going to make it all the harder to say goodbye again, but I can’t wait to shower him with kisses.